Do I really know the meaning of rest?
I'm one of those people who cannot sit still...and I know a lot of people say that but seriously I can't. I'm constantly trying to think of how I can multi-task. If I'm sitting down to watch something on TV I try to think of something I can accomplish while I do so (fold laundry, cut coupons, answer emails, sew something). If we're heading out for a rather long-ish car ride I try to think of things I can do while I'm sitting in the car (cut coupons, make lists, sew something, etc.). Sometimes when I'm laying in bed I think "You should probably be doing __________, or writing down ___________, or yada, yada, yada."
It's kind of messed up now that I think of it.
I'm definitely a Martha girl, unfortunately.
Its sort of a never ending cycle. I tell myself that if I can just accomplish one more thing then I can really truly chill out and relax/rest later. However, when I accomplish that task and should be heading toward that "rest" I always seem to find one more thing I should do...
I began reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver a year or two ago. I never finished it. I think in part because I didn't like how much I related to Martha. When I was reading it I remember thinking about how I would be sooooo frustrated and upset if Jesus told me that Mary was right. While I'm slaving away trying to get food on the table for Jesus and his disciples, Mary is just sitting there at Jesus' feet and how Jesus advises Martha that Mary has chosen better.
Sometimes being 'type-A', or a 'doer', or whatever you want to call it makes it truly difficult to relax and enjoy a good rest. As I've stated in previous posts---anxiety can really do a number on me and this is one area where it definitely does.
I find myself battling back and forth with this. Yes, I need to take time to chill out and just be. However, where would we be without a least a few Marthas in this world?
The problem isn't with being a Martha...its more with not having our priorities straight. If my doer attitude is getting in the way of my relationships and my faith then its time to re-evaluate.
With the upcoming holidays I know that I may have a tendency to swing into full on Martha-zilla. This year I am going to remember to practice grace and spend more time on what is important rather than what I deem urgent.